Although my blog doesn't always show it, our lives are not all sunshine and rainbows . . . we've had a rough week. No, it's not night time feedings or newborn fussiness that I'm talking about. . . it's the unexplained struggles of a 19-month old boy.
About a month ago,
Brayden started showing some signs that the "terrible twos" were going to come early. . . tantrums, hitting, throwing -- you know, toddler stuff. I wasn't too concerned. It is, after all, what comes with this age. So, we dealt with these behaviors with patience and re-direction. So far, I've been very impressed with our ability to stay calm and matter-of-fact while saying "no hits", "no throws", and "that is not nice" about 1 billion times per day. My sister has had many laughs since she witnessed a tantrum one day, and I responded in my ultra-dorky voice, "It's OK,
Brayden. Everyone gets angry." We've been calm. We can handle this. Or so I thought -- This week, we've entered a whole new world of "issues". . .
About 4 days ago,
Brayden started head banging. Yeah, that's right, he is banging his head against anything and everything when he gets upset or when he wants attention. He head bangs on walls, on doors, and on the floor. He picks up things and hits himself in the head, and if he doesn't have something readily available, he makes a fist and hits himself. He is banging his head HARD. Hard enough to leave bruises, and hard enough to scare me. He is also not sleeping.
Brayden has always been a good sleeper (with some periods of exception, like after his surgery), but now he is fighting going to sleep and he is waking up many, many times at night. When he wakes up, he bangs his head on his crib.
Everything I read says that we are supposed to ignore this behavior. That makes sense, it is obviously an attention-seeking behavior that we don't want to encourage, so we shouldn't give it any attention. However, every fiber of my being wants
do something to
stop him. This may be the hardest thing we have been through so far. . . and it is wearing me out. The head banging has definitely declined each day, but there were still some really hard hits today. How do I help him? How can I help him when I don't understand what is wrong? Is this related to Parker being here? Is this related to the
cardio appt? Is this something else? Am I just reading too much into normal boy behavior?
I thought about not posting about this, and DH didn't want me to, but I feel like I need to. My blog is usually "light and airy". Sometimes I avoid the real stuff of life because I'm afraid of dealing with it or I'm afraid of being judged . . . with this issue, I'm guess I'm just afraid that someone will think something is "wrong" with my son. I often think about the reason that I spend so much time reading other blogs -- it is the connection that I feel to people when they are open and honest. I've been touched, inspired, and educated by other bloggers, so don't I owe it to them to share some of our struggles?