I'm not sure if I should continue to hope or start to grieve. I will never "give up" on these boys. I am completely committed to them for the rest of our lives. I mean that - my commitment to them is not predicated on them living here with me. Yes, that is what I want. It is what I have thought was supposed to be. But it may not be what happens. The reality of the situation is that we had big obstacles to overcome from the start, and now there are even more obstacles. It is not that I have lost faith - I have no doubt that every single obstacle could disappear if it is God's plan for Gerson and Elviz to come here. He can overcome any and every obstacle, but we simply do not know if that is His plan.
At some point, I have to start to considering that my "Plan B" may actually be His "Plan A" . . . and that really hurts because I still want them here with me.
12 comments:
I can't imagine being in a place where you have to have those thoughts. Continued prayers for you and the boys. I hope that whatever the outcome - that God grants you peace of heart.
We often wonder those same thoughts. (((HUGS))) to you from my heart.
I can't begin to imagine what you are going through emotionally, spiritually, etc. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you all. I pray that the Lord will touch and heal all the hurts in all hearts involved.
Wishing you peace, Krystal.
Prayers and love for you all,
Jenny
I wish from the bottom of my heart that you never had to have that thought or decision cross your mind.
I do however truly understand and wish that I could tell you all the right ways to handle it!! After walking it, I still don't have any of those answers. While ours is definite,my heart doesn't seem to want to accept that reality. It is still a momma's heart in love with and longing for my little angelic baby girl.
All I can say is trust in HIM, He is the only stability I can find and hold on to on the days when I have to face that reality!! I pray and still believe that those precious boys are coming home where they belong!!
Love you bunches and pray for you daily,
Tammy
May the boys always know how much you love them.
My heart hurts for you, I still pray that your boys will be home with you soon. Love, Beya
Thank you for sharing this precious picture of your boys. Always praying.
Lots of prayers and thought always for you and the boys.
((hugs))
I still fight with that question every day. Grieve and move on or keep hope alive. I am doing both...neither very well! I am so sorry you have to face the same crummy situation and I am even more sorry that the welfare of the boys is not what is first and foremost in some people's minds. God is probably sick of me asking WHY...but I still need to know.
Just want you to know that you and the boys are continually in our prayers.
Boy do I know how you feel. All too well.
Still praying for you.
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