Deep Thoughts on God's Plans for My Family

Several people have asked me about how we "found" Gerson and Elviz or about why we are adopting older children. . . my answer is that they are our children, and it is now time for them to come home! I've thought a lot lately about God's plan for our family, and about how He has timed each addition.

Michael and I have been married for almost 10 years now. For nearly 7, we doubted that we wanted to have children. . . so how is it that a few years later we have 4? And at this point, I doubt anyone would be surprised if we end up with 14! How did that happen?

When it was time for us to have kids, we couldn't figure out if we were supposed to adopt or have biological children first (I always said that if I had kids, I wanted to adopt, so it was really just a question of which was first). I was so frustrated and so aggravated because it took a while for us to come to an agreement. . . I was ready to start, but it wasn't time yet! And once we did start, we asked for 2 toddlers (I was hoping for twins!). . . but it was time for Brayden. God knew that Brayden needed to come home first, and He timed it perfectly. I think about it a lot. . . If we had one more paperwork delay or one fewer paperwork delay, and we would not have gotten his referral. If one doctor had listened closer, we wouldn't have gotten his referral. If his birthmom had hesitated just for a day, we wouldn't have gotten his referral. All of this may seem like coincidence to some, but WITHOUT doubt I know that child was meant to be with me. I was chosen to be his parent. I was blessed with that gift.

And Parker. . . my sweet angel baby, Parker. I had put biological children in the back of my mind. I was planning to adopt again. BUT it was time for Parker! I did not know that I wanted a newborn baby girl. I did not know that I needed a newborn baby girl. But once again, God knew, and He timed it perfectly. I cannot explain how, but Parker carried me through some really tough times even before she was born. I could not fall into despair even when I wanted to because I had Parker. I needed her. She was hope :)

Oh, and remember that first adoption request. . . 2 siblings age 0-3 of either gender. Well, Gerson & Elviz were 2 and almost 1 when that was written. They were the toddlers that were in my heart. Even after we got Brayden's referral and KNEW that he was our child, I continued to say that I had at least one more child already in this world. I told Brayden from the start that he was the baby brother. . . and I just had to find my other kiddos!

When I first spoke with our current agency (and about 20 others), I asked "Do you place waiting children?". They answered, "Yes, we have some waiting children right now. A little boy with some special needs, a 10-month old, and oh, yeah, 2 brothers, 3 and 4." I delighted in this answer! Not that children were waiting, but that there was an agency that seemed to be looking for families for children, not children for families! But I continued on with my research, and we moved forward with our home study. . . and when we drove to CIS, and I marked 2 children on our form at the last minute - I was thinking about "2 brothers, 3 and 4". I knew that they were probably long gone, but they represented a desire that I once had. About 2 months later, we finally signed with that agency. Shortly after that, they called us about "2 brothers, 3 and 4". . . and our kiddos were found! I cannot believe that they waited for me :) I have been waiting for them for a long time!

Just as I know that God brought me to them at just the right time, I know that He will bring them home at just the right time. I am preparing for a long, rough journey. . . but I am so glad it is time for this journey!